michaxl:

did you say walk

alltheangst:

jackbassam:

When I have the sex talk with my kids I’m just going to tell them to follow the basic rule

“If your age is on the clock, you’re too young for the cock”

yeah, and when my kid turns thirteen imma go,

“Sit back down, I was talking about military time.”

zepheeeeeeeeh:

calins:

I AM DYING

Hahahaha

pimposaur:

In 2007, the seniors at my high school spray painted this on the roof of one of the buildings at school for a senior prank. It was only discovered a year later after a news reporter in a helicopter spotted it and reported it to the school.

sorry-so-sorry:

so obviously i went on omegle looking for potential revolutionaries

ok let me try again 

what

that’s not exactly what i was looking for but

…

um

dang i thought i was getting somewhere

yES I HAVE FOUND SOMEONE TO JOIN IN MY CRUSADE

h0llo:

School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick

glasmond:

But sweetheart, you did not end this comic.

Here, let me help you.



The love (as well as the hate) you give will always come back to you at some point in your life.
Believe me, I know exactly what I am talking about.

• teacher: describe yourself in one word
• me: done

python57:

hi, table for two?

alright sir if you and your laptop want to follow me

snorlaxatives:

miranda cosgrove turned 20 today but to me she will always look like this

princesshoff:

i just had a dream that macklemore was at my house and he told me that he’d spent all the money he made from Thrift Shop and couldn’t buy food and i said “aw do you need some snacklemore” and he punched me in the face

potter-merlin:

longnightsandterriblefights:

siriuslysalvatore:

are you ever just reading a book and you come across word that you don’t know how to pronounce so you just go afkjhjdsfsjkdhs in your head

when it’s someone’s name and you have to keep doing that for the rest of the book

And then if that book gets turned into a movie, they will pronounce the characters name and you just sit there in the cinemas like the fuck just happened to me